So I dont want to get ahead of myself, but I think things might be going my way, or at least starting to. My fingers are crossed that a potential new job will fall into place. This in itself would make a world of difference for the majority of my unhappiness. In this dreadful economy, led by a blind man who says he sees good things in the future, uh, youre blind, you dont see anything. Sorry back to my point, every morning is dreaded knowing I have to go to my awful job. But Ive taken on a new way of thinking, anytime someone pisses me off, I remind them to focus. What I am really saying is F*ck Off Cuz U're Stupid. That makes me feel better :) Until I realize it really wont change how much everything sucks.
Another postiive, Ive found two houses that Im going to look further into, for the potential of owning my own home. This is really exciting to me, however, I truly had no idea exactly what it all entails, and it certainly does involve ALOT. Its huge to do alone, but at the same time, Im not so sure I want to do it with someone else, because well, I havent seen a happy lesbian couple that actually successfully bought a house together and lasted... Plus it would be nice to own something of my own, aside from my car, lol. Granted the bank will own it for the majority of my life, but still, lol.
And then there is my love life... Ive finally met some girls that no one I know has talked to, dated, slept with or even knows for that matter. And so far so good. Im not going to get ahead of myself and think its going somewhere it isnt, but I definitely see potential and positives with this one... And if not, there is another as well... LL Cool B didnt die or anything ;)
Okay thats all I got for now...
angry bee
Monday, August 16, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Airplanes in the night sky...
Lets be real, airplanes in the night sky arent going to grant us a wish. There is no genie. Life is what we make of it. You really do get what you put in. The people in your life are a reflection of you. What someone does to you is absolutely because you have done it to someone else. And it comes back on you worse then what you did to someone else.
I hear people complaining all the time, that includes the voices in my own head, about some bs happening to them or me, but guess what, it really is karma. If you fed someone the "Its not you its me line" guess what, thats coming back at you even harder from someone you really like. It seems like Karma hits the wrong people sometimes though. Because I know for damn sure I wish what comes around goes around, and I wish it happened quickly to some people. There are people in my life that it kills me knowing all the things they did to me, and they are happy or living the life that I was wishing on airplanes in the night sky for... but my only hope (Im Mandy Moore now apparently) is that Karma will come around for them too.
So, seriously, if you are unhappy with your situation, or how a relationship/friendship/etc played out, take a harder look at how you played someone else, even if you dont think you did, chances are you did and Alicia Keys and I are just pointing out "what goes around comes around, its called Karma baby and it goes around."
Just for fun, one day I want to just speak in song lyrics. I wont say thats what Im doing, but it would be really interesting to see who would catch on.
Enough for now bitches.
the angry bee.
I hear people complaining all the time, that includes the voices in my own head, about some bs happening to them or me, but guess what, it really is karma. If you fed someone the "Its not you its me line" guess what, thats coming back at you even harder from someone you really like. It seems like Karma hits the wrong people sometimes though. Because I know for damn sure I wish what comes around goes around, and I wish it happened quickly to some people. There are people in my life that it kills me knowing all the things they did to me, and they are happy or living the life that I was wishing on airplanes in the night sky for... but my only hope (Im Mandy Moore now apparently) is that Karma will come around for them too.
So, seriously, if you are unhappy with your situation, or how a relationship/friendship/etc played out, take a harder look at how you played someone else, even if you dont think you did, chances are you did and Alicia Keys and I are just pointing out "what goes around comes around, its called Karma baby and it goes around."
Just for fun, one day I want to just speak in song lyrics. I wont say thats what Im doing, but it would be really interesting to see who would catch on.
Enough for now bitches.
the angry bee.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Why is she still in my head?
Did you ever have someone stay on your mind? Someone who for no logical explanation can you think of, that lingers in your thoughts?
There was almost something, but it just never happened, but I cant seem to get her out of my head. She has someone else, and Im sure she is more than happy...
But I cant get the thought of her out of my mind... Somedays are far worse than others...
Today is one of those...
Hmmpf.
the angry bee
There was almost something, but it just never happened, but I cant seem to get her out of my head. She has someone else, and Im sure she is more than happy...
But I cant get the thought of her out of my mind... Somedays are far worse than others...
Today is one of those...
Hmmpf.
the angry bee
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Cleaning out my closet
So Ive decided to clean out my closet, in the metaphoric sense. Well, partially clean it out, as some things are better left hidden.
In doing this I am reevaluating things in my life. In the six-sigma world, Im checking for the value add that certain things/people. Lets lean out my process to make sure I am more efficient and productive. Can you tell work is on my brain?
Have you ever heard someone talk and thought "I feel the same way they do" and somehow thought that meant you should have a bond or something. Well guess what, there is no bond, most people seem to really be out for themselves. I dont mean that they are maliciously selfish, I just mean that regardless how people behave or claim to be, if it isnt benefiting them in some way, it isnt important to them. So they may feel the same way you do, but your feelings arent really important to them as there is no value added... Clean them out.
And another thing I noticed, Im drawn to people who need fixing, quite possibly because deep down it is me who needs to be fixed. However, I seem to come into peoples lives who are 'broken' and when they are repaired they leave. I guess Im still waiting for my repairman (and I use the term man loosely, and I dont mean loosely like Im waiting for my repair butch, I am just using the term, dont read into it too deeply). Reevaluate the value add of those people.
There is an on going conversation with a friend about settling vs not settling vs waiting for what you want, and I believe that there is "the one" and she tells me not to lose that hope, but its really starting to dwindle, because the people that have recently shown interest in me arent/cant/wont be my forever, for numerous reasons. Apparently I am most appealing to those people who are already in a relationship and are unhappy for some reason or another. But to those who are single, there is nothing appealing about me... Oh I know poor me... pity the angry bee, but that isnt my point, or at least its not what Im getting at. Its more that during my closet cleaning, I need to reevaluate the people in my life, and myself and why is it that what I attract are unhappy and unavailable people? And what is it about the angry bee that is so appealing for those who are hurt or broken, but not those who are looking to settle down and find their forever?
I find that I enjoy feeling needed, I like being there for people, I like taking care of people emotionally, financially, physically... but at the same time, there does come a time when I need the same in return, but I havent found someone to match those needs... Hmpf.
The angry bee needs to make some changes. Because as the brilliant philosopher RuPaul says "If you dont love yourself how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"
In doing this I am reevaluating things in my life. In the six-sigma world, Im checking for the value add that certain things/people. Lets lean out my process to make sure I am more efficient and productive. Can you tell work is on my brain?
Have you ever heard someone talk and thought "I feel the same way they do" and somehow thought that meant you should have a bond or something. Well guess what, there is no bond, most people seem to really be out for themselves. I dont mean that they are maliciously selfish, I just mean that regardless how people behave or claim to be, if it isnt benefiting them in some way, it isnt important to them. So they may feel the same way you do, but your feelings arent really important to them as there is no value added... Clean them out.
And another thing I noticed, Im drawn to people who need fixing, quite possibly because deep down it is me who needs to be fixed. However, I seem to come into peoples lives who are 'broken' and when they are repaired they leave. I guess Im still waiting for my repairman (and I use the term man loosely, and I dont mean loosely like Im waiting for my repair butch, I am just using the term, dont read into it too deeply). Reevaluate the value add of those people.
There is an on going conversation with a friend about settling vs not settling vs waiting for what you want, and I believe that there is "the one" and she tells me not to lose that hope, but its really starting to dwindle, because the people that have recently shown interest in me arent/cant/wont be my forever, for numerous reasons. Apparently I am most appealing to those people who are already in a relationship and are unhappy for some reason or another. But to those who are single, there is nothing appealing about me... Oh I know poor me... pity the angry bee, but that isnt my point, or at least its not what Im getting at. Its more that during my closet cleaning, I need to reevaluate the people in my life, and myself and why is it that what I attract are unhappy and unavailable people? And what is it about the angry bee that is so appealing for those who are hurt or broken, but not those who are looking to settle down and find their forever?
I find that I enjoy feeling needed, I like being there for people, I like taking care of people emotionally, financially, physically... but at the same time, there does come a time when I need the same in return, but I havent found someone to match those needs... Hmpf.
The angry bee needs to make some changes. Because as the brilliant philosopher RuPaul says "If you dont love yourself how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"
Monday, May 17, 2010
I think my watch is broken...
My timing has been so off lately.
Between work, girls, traffic, you name it time and I are not friends right now.
I just cant get things right with work. Not sure if its really a timing issue as much as Im just not happy, but when Im making good money I dont love the work, when I like the work Im not making good money, its just out of synch... Not sure if thats timing or not, but seriously somethings gotta give!
Girls, it seems like I meet them, they "arent ready" then next thing I know they have a girlfriend. If it happens once, hey sh!t happens, it happens twice, weird, 3 times, clearly Im the issue... Or, the girls who keep saying they wish they met me sooner or at a different time, well you didnt, so oh well... Im not going to sit around waiting for
someone because Im just an option for them.
Traffic, seriously this morning, if I pulled out of my driveway 2 seconds faster, I would have been ahead of a huge line of traffic, that caused me to sit through 2 different red lights twice. I mean really?
And random, but friends, it seems like if I have a significant other my friends are single, and when Im single my friends arent. See BAD timing!
I just dont know what to do to get my life back on the right track.
Maybe I need a new watch.
Between work, girls, traffic, you name it time and I are not friends right now.
I just cant get things right with work. Not sure if its really a timing issue as much as Im just not happy, but when Im making good money I dont love the work, when I like the work Im not making good money, its just out of synch... Not sure if thats timing or not, but seriously somethings gotta give!
Girls, it seems like I meet them, they "arent ready" then next thing I know they have a girlfriend. If it happens once, hey sh!t happens, it happens twice, weird, 3 times, clearly Im the issue... Or, the girls who keep saying they wish they met me sooner or at a different time, well you didnt, so oh well... Im not going to sit around waiting for
someone because Im just an option for them.Traffic, seriously this morning, if I pulled out of my driveway 2 seconds faster, I would have been ahead of a huge line of traffic, that caused me to sit through 2 different red lights twice. I mean really?
And random, but friends, it seems like if I have a significant other my friends are single, and when Im single my friends arent. See BAD timing!
I just dont know what to do to get my life back on the right track.
Maybe I need a new watch.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Rant on Ranter
Lets make a list of things that really urk me.
1. FAKE PEOPLE
2. USERS (is that a word?)
3. When someone squeezes the toothpaste from the middle.
4. When a lesbian storyline looks like it has some potential and then BAM, nsm. (not so much for the acronymly challenged)
5. When you think you know what is going on and then realize you were WAY off base (not in a good way like stealing a base or getting further than you thought)
6. When people feed you lines of bullsh!t.
7. When people are so self absorbed at no time, even when called out on it, realize how damn selfish they are.
Thats all I have right now.
Peace out girl scout(ers)
angry bee
1. FAKE PEOPLE
2. USERS (is that a word?)
3. When someone squeezes the toothpaste from the middle.
4. When a lesbian storyline looks like it has some potential and then BAM, nsm. (not so much for the acronymly challenged)
5. When you think you know what is going on and then realize you were WAY off base (not in a good way like stealing a base or getting further than you thought)
6. When people feed you lines of bullsh!t.
7. When people are so self absorbed at no time, even when called out on it, realize how damn selfish they are.
Thats all I have right now.
Peace out girl scout(ers)
angry bee
Monday, April 19, 2010
Bringing on the rants...
So over the past, hmmm, 75 years or so, marriage has taken a drastic turn. There was a time when marriage was a sacred vow of uniting two people forever, or at least until one of the people "expired". People preach it was a different time, when marriage meant something and divorce wasnt an option, and people worked out their problems. Great. Living 'til you were 70 back then was barely an option either... Forever is a long time these days.
BUT at the same time, I do think marriage is something serious, I dont think people who have the right to get married take it seriously enough. People get married and divorced now, like fashions change, its almost fashionable to get divorced. But there are still people who arent even given the chance to get married, to share that sacred vow and be recognized as a married couple. So straight people can ruin the sanctity of marriage, via adultery, divorce, etc. yet gay people arent given the chance because somehow they will be the down fall of marriage? Um, what could we possibly do to make marriage any worse? I mean really?
BUT at the same time, I do think marriage is something serious, I dont think people who have the right to get married take it seriously enough. People get married and divorced now, like fashions change, its almost fashionable to get divorced. But there are still people who arent even given the chance to get married, to share that sacred vow and be recognized as a married couple. So straight people can ruin the sanctity of marriage, via adultery, divorce, etc. yet gay people arent given the chance because somehow they will be the down fall of marriage? Um, what could we possibly do to make marriage any worse? I mean really?
Thursday, April 8, 2010
What do you want?
So I was asked last night what it is that I want... (to put this in perspective, it was regarding my love life that this was asked) and this is what I came up with:
Someone mature but goofy. Someone who can laugh at and with me. Someone who can have an educated conversation. Someone who has their own friends but still loves to be around me. Someone who comprehends and finds sarcasm amusing. Someone with a job and a car. Someone who I can take care of. Someone who leaves me breathless.
I dont think Im asking for too much here am I? Is it silly to want those things? I want to see the person Im with and from across the room just smile knowing they are mine, and vice versa. I want to make someone happier than they've ever been, and as selfish as it might be, I want them to make me happy too.
Im going with the flow right now, Im not forcing anything, Im enjoying the people in my life, but I know what Im looking for, and I think Ill know it when I find it. I think you just know. I think you know immediately. As soon as your eyes meet... Then everything that happens from then on just proves that you have been right in that first moment. When you suddenly realize that you were incomplete and now you are whole...
Yup just waiting patiently for that...
angry bee
Someone mature but goofy. Someone who can laugh at and with me. Someone who can have an educated conversation. Someone who has their own friends but still loves to be around me. Someone who comprehends and finds sarcasm amusing. Someone with a job and a car. Someone who I can take care of. Someone who leaves me breathless.
I dont think Im asking for too much here am I? Is it silly to want those things? I want to see the person Im with and from across the room just smile knowing they are mine, and vice versa. I want to make someone happier than they've ever been, and as selfish as it might be, I want them to make me happy too.
Im going with the flow right now, Im not forcing anything, Im enjoying the people in my life, but I know what Im looking for, and I think Ill know it when I find it. I think you just know. I think you know immediately. As soon as your eyes meet... Then everything that happens from then on just proves that you have been right in that first moment. When you suddenly realize that you were incomplete and now you are whole...
Yup just waiting patiently for that...
angry bee
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Predicament
I think Im heading down a road to get myself into quite the predicament. Im not sure what I want to do, nor am I ready to stop either of the things heading me toward said predicament.
In other news, people never cease to amaze me. How they can say one thing to you, and do something completely different, and then try to make excuses for it. I can never be faulted for things like that, Im just far too honest for that. Sometimes Im too blunt, sometimes I ask too many questions, sometimes I do hold back but thats more of a protection for me... Im not going to just walk into something and get myself hurt, ya know? But Im not going to tell someone one thing, and then do something different. Even if you have the perfect explanation, or reason, it makes people think less of you, you sort of end up looking like a liar, it breaks the trust barrier down, its just bad business.
In more random news, for the first time it seems like Im the good child at work. My boss is being super nice to me, while spreading her wrath on my co-workers... Its nice for a change, I know it wont last long, but really its nice.
So I have my first "official" date in a really long time tonight. The other night was called a date after the fact, but there is just way too much with that girl... tonights girl, although there is some luggage (the polite word for baggage) its not necessarily negative luggage, just luggage...
LL Cool B might be back, because I am so sick of girls games, that its time I take control and dont let anything matter...
peace out girlscout(ers)
angry bee
In other news, people never cease to amaze me. How they can say one thing to you, and do something completely different, and then try to make excuses for it. I can never be faulted for things like that, Im just far too honest for that. Sometimes Im too blunt, sometimes I ask too many questions, sometimes I do hold back but thats more of a protection for me... Im not going to just walk into something and get myself hurt, ya know? But Im not going to tell someone one thing, and then do something different. Even if you have the perfect explanation, or reason, it makes people think less of you, you sort of end up looking like a liar, it breaks the trust barrier down, its just bad business.
In more random news, for the first time it seems like Im the good child at work. My boss is being super nice to me, while spreading her wrath on my co-workers... Its nice for a change, I know it wont last long, but really its nice.
So I have my first "official" date in a really long time tonight. The other night was called a date after the fact, but there is just way too much with that girl... tonights girl, although there is some luggage (the polite word for baggage) its not necessarily negative luggage, just luggage...
LL Cool B might be back, because I am so sick of girls games, that its time I take control and dont let anything matter...
peace out girlscout(ers)
angry bee
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Happy Belated Easter to my Jesus loving peeps
Happy Belated Easter to my Jesus loving/fearing/Zombie hating friends...
I find that for a little while I had very little drama in my life, it was actually very nice.
The more lesbians in my life the more dramatic it becomes... Maybe thats why I used to date straight or bi girls, lol. But sometimes the girls who dont claim lesbian status are just as much drama if not more...
One of my friends told me I need to lower my standards, at first I was offended, but she continued with, "the hot girls in your life are CRAZY" haha, gotta love my friends.
There was a recent "discussion" between two people that I 'know', and I say 'know' because Im not sure how well I know either of them... But all along Ive been trying to understand the dynamic between the two of them, because one of them is constantly bringing up the other, and finally the shiteth hath hiteth the fan. Some people have suggested both the cause and effect need to be removed from my life, funny thing is, Im not sure I can determine which is which...
Some interesting thoughts were posed after the fact, of which I dont know the answers, nor do I understand... but oh well, if I was meant to, I would...
Whatever is meant to happen will happen (I figure if I keep telling myself things like that, Ill believe them), and sometimes people dont realize what they had a shot at til they dont have the shot anymore... and sometimes, when you lose what you thought you wanted, you realize something else had been there all along...
Peace out girl scout(ers)
angry bee
I find that for a little while I had very little drama in my life, it was actually very nice.
The more lesbians in my life the more dramatic it becomes... Maybe thats why I used to date straight or bi girls, lol. But sometimes the girls who dont claim lesbian status are just as much drama if not more...
One of my friends told me I need to lower my standards, at first I was offended, but she continued with, "the hot girls in your life are CRAZY" haha, gotta love my friends.
There was a recent "discussion" between two people that I 'know', and I say 'know' because Im not sure how well I know either of them... But all along Ive been trying to understand the dynamic between the two of them, because one of them is constantly bringing up the other, and finally the shiteth hath hiteth the fan. Some people have suggested both the cause and effect need to be removed from my life, funny thing is, Im not sure I can determine which is which...
Some interesting thoughts were posed after the fact, of which I dont know the answers, nor do I understand... but oh well, if I was meant to, I would...
Whatever is meant to happen will happen (I figure if I keep telling myself things like that, Ill believe them), and sometimes people dont realize what they had a shot at til they dont have the shot anymore... and sometimes, when you lose what you thought you wanted, you realize something else had been there all along...
Peace out girl scout(ers)
angry bee
Friday, April 2, 2010
And so it goes...
My sense of humor can be described as dark, dry, witty, sarcastic, etc and lately Im finding that not a lot of people can actually handle it. And sometimes my "humor" cuts sharper than the sharpest of blades. I often dont intend to cause a wound with the things I say, but it happens. I find that my humor is more of a protection sometimes, then anything closely related to humor.
I think I messed up the potential for a decent friend, (although others dont think she would have been much of a friend and are glad she is gone, but thats neither here nor there) I just feel like something went wrong, and I dont know where it went that way...
In other news, have you ever said something because you thought it was safe to do. As in, you figured it would never happen, so you could absolutely say it. An example, telling someone you'd definitely go somewhere with them, knowing damn well they cant go, but then they take the day off and guess what, you're stuck going... Yeah I kind of said something, with the best of intentions and would make the person feel good, thinking that it would not actually happen so Id never really have to worry about it, well uht oh, its happening, and now I think Ive really stepped in it. See people this is why the angry bee doesnt do nice, cuz I do it wrong, and then get stuck in it...
Oh and on other random ranting news, my coworkers are worse than the gossipy annoying bitches in highschool. One of them tries to be friends with everyone, on top of complaining about everyone and getting them in trouble (you remember that girl in high school Im sure) well said girl decides that she is going to complain because Im friendly with people shes been trying to get in trouble. Um, hi they have no drama, you do. BYE to you, Hello to them.
Since Im not out at work, I told another coworker to just tell her Im sleeping with one of them since its a group of guys, I know they wouldnt care so maybe she will back off. Seriously its getting to be WAY TOO MUCH.
Alright kids, watch your back, watch your front, wave your hands high.
Peace out girl scout(ers)
angry bee
I think I messed up the potential for a decent friend, (although others dont think she would have been much of a friend and are glad she is gone, but thats neither here nor there) I just feel like something went wrong, and I dont know where it went that way...
In other news, have you ever said something because you thought it was safe to do. As in, you figured it would never happen, so you could absolutely say it. An example, telling someone you'd definitely go somewhere with them, knowing damn well they cant go, but then they take the day off and guess what, you're stuck going... Yeah I kind of said something, with the best of intentions and would make the person feel good, thinking that it would not actually happen so Id never really have to worry about it, well uht oh, its happening, and now I think Ive really stepped in it. See people this is why the angry bee doesnt do nice, cuz I do it wrong, and then get stuck in it...
Oh and on other random ranting news, my coworkers are worse than the gossipy annoying bitches in highschool. One of them tries to be friends with everyone, on top of complaining about everyone and getting them in trouble (you remember that girl in high school Im sure) well said girl decides that she is going to complain because Im friendly with people shes been trying to get in trouble. Um, hi they have no drama, you do. BYE to you, Hello to them.
Since Im not out at work, I told another coworker to just tell her Im sleeping with one of them since its a group of guys, I know they wouldnt care so maybe she will back off. Seriously its getting to be WAY TOO MUCH.
Alright kids, watch your back, watch your front, wave your hands high.
Peace out girl scout(ers)
angry bee
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Ranting away
So Im ranting again, and Im going to sound like a hypocrite, and I feel kind of like a jerk, but truth be told I am a jerk so what does it matter...
I was kind of on this "get over yourself" thought about some people who are all "pity me, Ive been hurt" and BS like that, but then, over the weekend, some things came up about my ex, and I realized how not okay I am with that situation.
And its horrible to find out that the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, that you were with for a good amount of time, lived together, vacationed together, incorporated into your family and vice versa, is not who you thought they were. Coming to learn that the person I loveD (past tense to be clear, since people keep asking) is a liar, is selfish and truly only cares about herself (I guess that is what selfish means, but I need to emphasize the point) is rather hurtful... And what does it say about me, knowing that I could love someone like that... She comes in and out of my life on her terms, reaking havoc as she comes, taking what she wants, and all the while claiming to be a good friend to me. Um, wtf?
So yeah, I guess I do understand the people who say they've been hurt before, and it really messed them up, BUT Im not going to let her rule my life, Im not going to let her be "happy" while I sit and suffer in the wake of her disaster...
Oh and for something fun, I just realized that I recieved the "Its not you, its me speech" and I didnt even realize it... It wasnt until they "broke some news" to me last night, that it officially registered that although they seemed like they were genuinely trying to tell me something last week, what they were really saying was "its not you its me" funny thing is, all I did was ask what was going on with us, because I didnt want to mistake it for something it was or was not.
And then there is the girl who seems genuinely interested, but is so busy that she ends up being very last minute with asking me to do things, and Im not the last minute type... Maybe I need to fix that?
Okay thats all for now,
Peace out girl scout(ers)
angry bee
I was kind of on this "get over yourself" thought about some people who are all "pity me, Ive been hurt" and BS like that, but then, over the weekend, some things came up about my ex, and I realized how not okay I am with that situation.
And its horrible to find out that the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, that you were with for a good amount of time, lived together, vacationed together, incorporated into your family and vice versa, is not who you thought they were. Coming to learn that the person I loveD (past tense to be clear, since people keep asking) is a liar, is selfish and truly only cares about herself (I guess that is what selfish means, but I need to emphasize the point) is rather hurtful... And what does it say about me, knowing that I could love someone like that... She comes in and out of my life on her terms, reaking havoc as she comes, taking what she wants, and all the while claiming to be a good friend to me. Um, wtf?
So yeah, I guess I do understand the people who say they've been hurt before, and it really messed them up, BUT Im not going to let her rule my life, Im not going to let her be "happy" while I sit and suffer in the wake of her disaster...
Oh and for something fun, I just realized that I recieved the "Its not you, its me speech" and I didnt even realize it... It wasnt until they "broke some news" to me last night, that it officially registered that although they seemed like they were genuinely trying to tell me something last week, what they were really saying was "its not you its me" funny thing is, all I did was ask what was going on with us, because I didnt want to mistake it for something it was or was not.
And then there is the girl who seems genuinely interested, but is so busy that she ends up being very last minute with asking me to do things, and Im not the last minute type... Maybe I need to fix that?
Okay thats all for now,
Peace out girl scout(ers)
angry bee
Friday, March 26, 2010
Bringing on the rants...
Okay so here is my first real rant as requested...
I dont understand why there are certain people who think they've been hurt by love like no one before... Guess what, you arent special in that aspect. Everyone has had their heart broken, everyone hurts from someone or something. It would probably be more difficult to find someone who hasnt been hurt then to find someone that has. Dont get me wrong I do feel bad for people who are hurting, people who are messed up from their past relationships, but at the same time, I also know we've all been there, its just some people show it and some people dont.
And another thing, the people who make excuses for how their significant other treats them because of how they are hurting from something in the past, um what? Just because Sallys ex-girlfriend treated her badly does not excuse Sally when she treats you badly.
Now some might say its the pot calling the kettle black here because I was in no condition to offer love advice when the girl I thought was my forever and I broke up, in fact I passed up more than one excellent person. But there comes a time when you have to take control, stop the hurting and pity party, deal with the pain and move on because life will pass you by and its your own fault when that happens. And by moving on, I dont mean going back to something you knew because you think the past is easier than exploring something in the future.
I really think its time for people to suck it up, realize that the time is now, there is no time like the present, and all those other cliche statements, because before you know it, the only thing you have in your life is your pity me attitude and your complaints, and no one to listen to them...
peace out girlscout(er)s
angry bee
I dont understand why there are certain people who think they've been hurt by love like no one before... Guess what, you arent special in that aspect. Everyone has had their heart broken, everyone hurts from someone or something. It would probably be more difficult to find someone who hasnt been hurt then to find someone that has. Dont get me wrong I do feel bad for people who are hurting, people who are messed up from their past relationships, but at the same time, I also know we've all been there, its just some people show it and some people dont.
And another thing, the people who make excuses for how their significant other treats them because of how they are hurting from something in the past, um what? Just because Sallys ex-girlfriend treated her badly does not excuse Sally when she treats you badly.
Now some might say its the pot calling the kettle black here because I was in no condition to offer love advice when the girl I thought was my forever and I broke up, in fact I passed up more than one excellent person. But there comes a time when you have to take control, stop the hurting and pity party, deal with the pain and move on because life will pass you by and its your own fault when that happens. And by moving on, I dont mean going back to something you knew because you think the past is easier than exploring something in the future.
I really think its time for people to suck it up, realize that the time is now, there is no time like the present, and all those other cliche statements, because before you know it, the only thing you have in your life is your pity me attitude and your complaints, and no one to listen to them...
peace out girlscout(er)s
angry bee
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Here I go again
Let me start off by saying how I dislike my job. With that being said, I dislike my boss too. I graduated from college with a BS and the intent on getting my MSW, but I ended up in a great job, so that postponed my plan a bit. I was a counselor at Job Corps, I worked with the kids who were brand new to the center, so they were a bit on the needy side. I loved working with them, I really felt like I was making a difference, and came to love some of those kids, even the bad ass ones. But all good things must come to an end, there were some issues I had with the buerocracy there. So then I decided working at Parsons would be a positive step, after getting attacked, bit, verbally abused, punched in the face, lied to, cried to, laughed with, loved, I decided I couldnt stay there anymore. It is an emotionally draining job, and sometimes I didnt see what Parsons was doing as a benefit to these kids, and since I couldnt change the policies I left... Years later Im an Assistant Program Manager at GE. How I made that jump, I dont even know, and in hindsight, I shouldnt have. I thought an office job was what I wanted, it makes sense, there is more money in jobs like this, its 'less stressful', it just seemed like a good idea. Well, my stress level hasnt gone down, there is nothing rewarding about what I do, I feel like its high school, Ive never seen such petty backstabbing and gossiping. Being someone who loves women, I sure hate working with them...
Ok Im done with that now.
So, on the girl front, the one I thought was using me, Im still not convinced she isnt, but she explained some things, not sure if that makes it better or worse, lol.
Another is mad at me because I never told her before that if she didnt get with her girlfriend, that I thought she and I would be dating. I am generally a decent person and saying something like that to someone with a girlfriend is wrong in my opinion...
But I think I have found someone special, not neccessarily my someone special, but I like her, she likes me and we are going to take it slow and see what happens... thats all anyone can really do...
Who knows, if it doesnt work out with her, maybe someone else will catch up with the times... and be ready.
And just a quick piece of fashion advice before I go, white socks should be worn with sneakers, nothing else. If you have black pants on, you A. shouldnt have white sneakers on and B. shouldnt have white socks on.
The end.
Peace out girl scout(ers)
The angry bee.
Ok Im done with that now.
So, on the girl front, the one I thought was using me, Im still not convinced she isnt, but she explained some things, not sure if that makes it better or worse, lol.
Another is mad at me because I never told her before that if she didnt get with her girlfriend, that I thought she and I would be dating. I am generally a decent person and saying something like that to someone with a girlfriend is wrong in my opinion...
But I think I have found someone special, not neccessarily my someone special, but I like her, she likes me and we are going to take it slow and see what happens... thats all anyone can really do...
Who knows, if it doesnt work out with her, maybe someone else will catch up with the times... and be ready.
And just a quick piece of fashion advice before I go, white socks should be worn with sneakers, nothing else. If you have black pants on, you A. shouldnt have white sneakers on and B. shouldnt have white socks on.
The end.
Peace out girl scout(ers)
The angry bee.
Monday, March 22, 2010
2nd attempt
Ok so here I go...
Lets see, the most prevalent thing on my mind right now is girls, shocker... but I am confused. I go through dry spells, then meet a bunch of really cool girls all at the same time. Problem is I have to weed through them to figure out which ones are the genuine ones and which are just using me for something. I mean deep down we know everyone uses someone for something, whether it be companionship, motivation, money, sex, we do it, its human nature.
There is the girl who isnt exactly my type, but seems like the logical choice, mature, smart, funny, sarcastic, all around pretty awesome AND she thinks Im cute...
Then there is the girl who on paper (more specifically text and on the computer) seems to be perfect, I mean everything about her is my type, from appearance to what she wants in a partner, but when talking, its pretty clear that although she meets all of my qualifications, I dont meet hers, yet she keeps me around, good reason to assume she is using me for something...
Then there is the girl who I truly enjoy talking to, enjoy the conversations, she has expressed interest, but there are certain things I cant get passed and never will.
There is also an ex, who seems to stay involved in my life enough that she pops right back in at the last second before Ive totally written her off, as if to remind me she still holds the power, and as much as I dont think she does, my actions say otherwise.
And there is the girl who something almost happened, but then it didnt because she had far too much baggage in my opinion, but there is still clearly something there, regardless on if either one of us wants to admit it...
So great there are all these girls, yet Im single, and still on my quest for "The One". Some people seem to think that there isnt just one person, and others are as much a hopeless romantic as I am. But really when it comes down to it, Im not giving up hope on finding my forever. The girl who people compliment when she is all dressed up, but I think she looks sexy with sweats on, the girl who makes me laugh in the middle of a fight, the one who there is an intense amount of passion with, who knows how to keep me in check, who can be the life of the party or my companion on the couch. Someone to quote Mean Girls with or dance the night away with.
Ok thats all for now...
Peace out girl scout(er)s
Lets see, the most prevalent thing on my mind right now is girls, shocker... but I am confused. I go through dry spells, then meet a bunch of really cool girls all at the same time. Problem is I have to weed through them to figure out which ones are the genuine ones and which are just using me for something. I mean deep down we know everyone uses someone for something, whether it be companionship, motivation, money, sex, we do it, its human nature.
There is the girl who isnt exactly my type, but seems like the logical choice, mature, smart, funny, sarcastic, all around pretty awesome AND she thinks Im cute...
Then there is the girl who on paper (more specifically text and on the computer) seems to be perfect, I mean everything about her is my type, from appearance to what she wants in a partner, but when talking, its pretty clear that although she meets all of my qualifications, I dont meet hers, yet she keeps me around, good reason to assume she is using me for something...
Then there is the girl who I truly enjoy talking to, enjoy the conversations, she has expressed interest, but there are certain things I cant get passed and never will.
There is also an ex, who seems to stay involved in my life enough that she pops right back in at the last second before Ive totally written her off, as if to remind me she still holds the power, and as much as I dont think she does, my actions say otherwise.
And there is the girl who something almost happened, but then it didnt because she had far too much baggage in my opinion, but there is still clearly something there, regardless on if either one of us wants to admit it...
So great there are all these girls, yet Im single, and still on my quest for "The One". Some people seem to think that there isnt just one person, and others are as much a hopeless romantic as I am. But really when it comes down to it, Im not giving up hope on finding my forever. The girl who people compliment when she is all dressed up, but I think she looks sexy with sweats on, the girl who makes me laugh in the middle of a fight, the one who there is an intense amount of passion with, who knows how to keep me in check, who can be the life of the party or my companion on the couch. Someone to quote Mean Girls with or dance the night away with.
Ok thats all for now...
Peace out girl scout(er)s
My first time.... blogging
This is my first bloggizzle ever. How exciting. Im at work and should be... yup you guessed it... working...
Im not so sure how this whole blog thing works... I write and then, wahlah a blog.
At least this way since I babble all the time I can just babble to the computer. It likes me. Dont worry I asked first before I said that.
I have so much to write about just to get it off my chest... But because there is so much I just dont know what to write about.
Hmmm where to start?
To much pressure. Ill try again later.
peace out cub scouts. Dont be a cub scout(er) cuz that means youre a ped.
Im not so sure how this whole blog thing works... I write and then, wahlah a blog.
At least this way since I babble all the time I can just babble to the computer. It likes me. Dont worry I asked first before I said that.
I have so much to write about just to get it off my chest... But because there is so much I just dont know what to write about.
Hmmm where to start?
To much pressure. Ill try again later.
peace out cub scouts. Dont be a cub scout(er) cuz that means youre a ped.
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