Ranting away

So Im ranting again, and Im going to sound like a hypocrite, and I feel kind of like a jerk, but truth be told I am a jerk so what does it matter...
I was kind of on this "get over yourself" thought about some people who are all "pity me, Ive been hurt" and BS like that, but then, over the weekend, some things came up about my ex, and I realized how not okay I am with that situation.
And its horrible to find out that the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, that you were with for a good amount of time, lived together, vacationed together, incorporated into your family and vice versa, is not who you thought they were. Coming to learn that the person I loveD (past tense to be clear, since people keep asking) is a liar, is selfish and truly only cares about herself (I guess that is what selfish means, but I need to emphasize the point) is rather hurtful... And what does it say about me, knowing that I could love someone like that... She comes in and out of my life on her terms, reaking havoc as she comes, taking what she wants, and all the while claiming to be a good friend to me. Um, wtf?
So yeah, I guess I do understand the people who say they've been hurt before, and it really messed them up, BUT Im not going to let her rule my life, Im not going to let her be "happy" while I sit and suffer in the wake of her disaster...
Oh and for something fun, I just realized that I recieved the "Its not you, its me speech" and I didnt even realize it... It wasnt until they "broke some news" to me last night, that it officially registered that although they seemed like they were genuinely trying to tell me something last week, what they were really saying was "its not you its me" funny thing is, all I did was ask what was going on with us, because I didnt want to mistake it for something it was or was not.
And then there is the girl who seems genuinely interested, but is so busy that she ends up being very last minute with asking me to do things, and Im not the last minute type... Maybe I need to fix that?

Okay thats all for now,
Peace out girl scout(ers)
angry bee

Bringing on the rants...

Okay so here is my first real rant as requested...
I dont understand why there are certain people who think they've been hurt by love like no one before... Guess what, you arent special in that aspect. Everyone has had their heart broken, everyone hurts from someone or something. It would probably be more difficult to find someone who hasnt been hurt then to find someone that has. Dont get me wrong I do feel bad for people who are hurting, people who are messed up from their past relationships, but at the same time, I also know we've all been there, its just some people show it and some people dont.
And another thing, the people who make excuses for how their significant other treats them because of how they are hurting from something in the past, um what? Just because Sallys ex-girlfriend treated her badly does not excuse Sally when she treats you badly.
Now some might say its the pot calling the kettle black here because I was in no condition to offer love advice when the girl I thought was my forever and I broke up, in fact I passed up more than one excellent person. But there comes a time when you have to take control, stop the hurting and pity party, deal with the pain and move on because life will pass you by and its your own fault when that happens. And by moving on, I dont mean going back to something you knew because you think the past is easier than exploring something in the future.
I really think its time for people to suck it up, realize that the time is now, there is no time like the present, and all those other cliche statements, because before you know it, the only thing you have in your life is your pity me attitude and your complaints, and no one to listen to them...

peace out girlscout(er)s
angry bee

Here I go again

Let me start off by saying how I dislike my job. With that being said, I dislike my boss too. I graduated from college with a BS and the intent on getting my MSW, but I ended up in a great job, so that postponed my plan a bit. I was a counselor at Job Corps, I worked with the kids who were brand new to the center, so they were a bit on the needy side. I loved working with them, I really felt like I was making a difference, and came to love some of those kids, even the bad ass ones. But all good things must come to an end, there were some issues I had with the buerocracy there. So then I decided working at Parsons would be a positive step, after getting attacked, bit, verbally abused, punched in the face, lied to, cried to, laughed with, loved, I decided I couldnt stay there anymore. It is an emotionally draining job, and sometimes I didnt see what Parsons was doing as a benefit to these kids, and since I couldnt change the policies I left... Years later Im an Assistant Program Manager at GE. How I made that jump, I dont even know, and in hindsight, I shouldnt have. I thought an office job was what I wanted, it makes sense, there is more money in jobs like this, its 'less stressful', it just seemed like a good idea. Well, my stress level hasnt gone down, there is nothing rewarding about what I do, I feel like its high school, Ive never seen such petty backstabbing and gossiping. Being someone who loves women, I sure hate working with them...
Ok Im done with that now.

So, on the girl front, the one I thought was using me, Im still not convinced she isnt, but she explained some things, not sure if that makes it better or worse, lol.
Another is mad at me because I never told her before that if she didnt get with her girlfriend, that I thought she and I would be dating. I am generally a decent person and saying something like that to someone with a girlfriend is wrong in my opinion...
But I think I have found someone special, not neccessarily my someone special, but I like her, she likes me and we are going to take it slow and see what happens... thats all anyone can really do...
Who knows, if it doesnt work out with her, maybe someone else will catch up with the times... and be ready.

And just a quick piece of fashion advice before I go, white socks should be worn with sneakers, nothing else. If you have black pants on, you A. shouldnt have white sneakers on and B. shouldnt have white socks on.
The end.

Peace out girl scout(ers)
The angry bee.

2nd attempt

Ok so here I go...
Lets see, the most prevalent thing on my mind right now is girls, shocker... but I am confused. I go through dry spells, then meet a bunch of really cool girls all at the same time. Problem is I have to weed through them to figure out which ones are the genuine ones and which are just using me for something. I mean deep down we know everyone uses someone for something, whether it be companionship, motivation, money, sex, we do it, its human nature.

There is the girl who isnt exactly my type, but seems like the logical choice, mature, smart, funny, sarcastic, all around pretty awesome AND she thinks Im cute...
Then there is the girl who on paper (more specifically text and on the computer) seems to be perfect, I mean everything about her is my type, from appearance to what she wants in a partner, but when talking, its pretty clear that although she meets all of my qualifications, I dont meet hers, yet she keeps me around, good reason to assume she is using me for something...
Then there is the girl who I truly enjoy talking to, enjoy the conversations, she has expressed interest, but there are certain things I cant get passed and never will.
There is also an ex, who seems to stay involved in my life enough that she pops right back in at the last second before Ive totally written her off, as if to remind me she still holds the power, and as much as I dont think she does, my actions say otherwise.
And there is the girl who something almost happened, but then it didnt because she had far too much baggage in my opinion, but there is still clearly something there, regardless on if either one of us wants to admit it...

So great there are all these girls, yet Im single, and still on my quest for "The One". Some people seem to think that there isnt just one person, and others are as much a hopeless romantic as I am. But really when it comes down to it, Im not giving up hope on finding my forever. The girl who people compliment when she is all dressed up, but I think she looks sexy with sweats on, the girl who makes me laugh in the middle of a fight, the one who there is an intense amount of passion with, who knows how to keep me in check, who can be the life of the party or my companion on the couch. Someone to quote Mean Girls with or dance the night away with.

Ok thats all for now...

Peace out girl scout(er)s

My first time.... blogging

This is my first bloggizzle ever. How exciting. Im at work and should be... yup you guessed it... working...
Im not so sure how this whole blog thing works... I write and then, wahlah a blog.
At least this way since I babble all the time I can just babble to the computer. It likes me. Dont worry I asked first before I said that.

I have so much to write about just to get it off my chest... But because there is so much I just dont know what to write about.

Hmmm where to start?

To much pressure. Ill try again later.
peace out cub scouts. Dont be a cub scout(er) cuz that means youre a ped.