So I dont want to get ahead of myself, but I think things might be going my way, or at least starting to. My fingers are crossed that a potential new job will fall into place. This in itself would make a world of difference for the majority of my unhappiness. In this dreadful economy, led by a blind man who says he sees good things in the future, uh, youre blind, you dont see anything. Sorry back to my point, every morning is dreaded knowing I have to go to my awful job. But Ive taken on a new way of thinking, anytime someone pisses me off, I remind them to focus. What I am really saying is F*ck Off Cuz U're Stupid. That makes me feel better :) Until I realize it really wont change how much everything sucks.
Another postiive, Ive found two houses that Im going to look further into, for the potential of owning my own home. This is really exciting to me, however, I truly had no idea exactly what it all entails, and it certainly does involve ALOT. Its huge to do alone, but at the same time, Im not so sure I want to do it with someone else, because well, I havent seen a happy lesbian couple that actually successfully bought a house together and lasted... Plus it would be nice to own something of my own, aside from my car, lol. Granted the bank will own it for the majority of my life, but still, lol.
And then there is my love life... Ive finally met some girls that no one I know has talked to, dated, slept with or even knows for that matter. And so far so good. Im not going to get ahead of myself and think its going somewhere it isnt, but I definitely see potential and positives with this one... And if not, there is another as well... LL Cool B didnt die or anything ;)
Okay thats all I got for now...
angry bee
Monday, August 16, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Airplanes in the night sky...
Lets be real, airplanes in the night sky arent going to grant us a wish. There is no genie. Life is what we make of it. You really do get what you put in. The people in your life are a reflection of you. What someone does to you is absolutely because you have done it to someone else. And it comes back on you worse then what you did to someone else.
I hear people complaining all the time, that includes the voices in my own head, about some bs happening to them or me, but guess what, it really is karma. If you fed someone the "Its not you its me line" guess what, thats coming back at you even harder from someone you really like. It seems like Karma hits the wrong people sometimes though. Because I know for damn sure I wish what comes around goes around, and I wish it happened quickly to some people. There are people in my life that it kills me knowing all the things they did to me, and they are happy or living the life that I was wishing on airplanes in the night sky for... but my only hope (Im Mandy Moore now apparently) is that Karma will come around for them too.
So, seriously, if you are unhappy with your situation, or how a relationship/friendship/etc played out, take a harder look at how you played someone else, even if you dont think you did, chances are you did and Alicia Keys and I are just pointing out "what goes around comes around, its called Karma baby and it goes around."
Just for fun, one day I want to just speak in song lyrics. I wont say thats what Im doing, but it would be really interesting to see who would catch on.
Enough for now bitches.
the angry bee.
I hear people complaining all the time, that includes the voices in my own head, about some bs happening to them or me, but guess what, it really is karma. If you fed someone the "Its not you its me line" guess what, thats coming back at you even harder from someone you really like. It seems like Karma hits the wrong people sometimes though. Because I know for damn sure I wish what comes around goes around, and I wish it happened quickly to some people. There are people in my life that it kills me knowing all the things they did to me, and they are happy or living the life that I was wishing on airplanes in the night sky for... but my only hope (Im Mandy Moore now apparently) is that Karma will come around for them too.
So, seriously, if you are unhappy with your situation, or how a relationship/friendship/etc played out, take a harder look at how you played someone else, even if you dont think you did, chances are you did and Alicia Keys and I are just pointing out "what goes around comes around, its called Karma baby and it goes around."
Just for fun, one day I want to just speak in song lyrics. I wont say thats what Im doing, but it would be really interesting to see who would catch on.
Enough for now bitches.
the angry bee.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Why is she still in my head?
Did you ever have someone stay on your mind? Someone who for no logical explanation can you think of, that lingers in your thoughts?
There was almost something, but it just never happened, but I cant seem to get her out of my head. She has someone else, and Im sure she is more than happy...
But I cant get the thought of her out of my mind... Somedays are far worse than others...
Today is one of those...
Hmmpf.
the angry bee
There was almost something, but it just never happened, but I cant seem to get her out of my head. She has someone else, and Im sure she is more than happy...
But I cant get the thought of her out of my mind... Somedays are far worse than others...
Today is one of those...
Hmmpf.
the angry bee
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Cleaning out my closet
So Ive decided to clean out my closet, in the metaphoric sense. Well, partially clean it out, as some things are better left hidden.
In doing this I am reevaluating things in my life. In the six-sigma world, Im checking for the value add that certain things/people. Lets lean out my process to make sure I am more efficient and productive. Can you tell work is on my brain?
Have you ever heard someone talk and thought "I feel the same way they do" and somehow thought that meant you should have a bond or something. Well guess what, there is no bond, most people seem to really be out for themselves. I dont mean that they are maliciously selfish, I just mean that regardless how people behave or claim to be, if it isnt benefiting them in some way, it isnt important to them. So they may feel the same way you do, but your feelings arent really important to them as there is no value added... Clean them out.
And another thing I noticed, Im drawn to people who need fixing, quite possibly because deep down it is me who needs to be fixed. However, I seem to come into peoples lives who are 'broken' and when they are repaired they leave. I guess Im still waiting for my repairman (and I use the term man loosely, and I dont mean loosely like Im waiting for my repair butch, I am just using the term, dont read into it too deeply). Reevaluate the value add of those people.
There is an on going conversation with a friend about settling vs not settling vs waiting for what you want, and I believe that there is "the one" and she tells me not to lose that hope, but its really starting to dwindle, because the people that have recently shown interest in me arent/cant/wont be my forever, for numerous reasons. Apparently I am most appealing to those people who are already in a relationship and are unhappy for some reason or another. But to those who are single, there is nothing appealing about me... Oh I know poor me... pity the angry bee, but that isnt my point, or at least its not what Im getting at. Its more that during my closet cleaning, I need to reevaluate the people in my life, and myself and why is it that what I attract are unhappy and unavailable people? And what is it about the angry bee that is so appealing for those who are hurt or broken, but not those who are looking to settle down and find their forever?
I find that I enjoy feeling needed, I like being there for people, I like taking care of people emotionally, financially, physically... but at the same time, there does come a time when I need the same in return, but I havent found someone to match those needs... Hmpf.
The angry bee needs to make some changes. Because as the brilliant philosopher RuPaul says "If you dont love yourself how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"
In doing this I am reevaluating things in my life. In the six-sigma world, Im checking for the value add that certain things/people. Lets lean out my process to make sure I am more efficient and productive. Can you tell work is on my brain?
Have you ever heard someone talk and thought "I feel the same way they do" and somehow thought that meant you should have a bond or something. Well guess what, there is no bond, most people seem to really be out for themselves. I dont mean that they are maliciously selfish, I just mean that regardless how people behave or claim to be, if it isnt benefiting them in some way, it isnt important to them. So they may feel the same way you do, but your feelings arent really important to them as there is no value added... Clean them out.
And another thing I noticed, Im drawn to people who need fixing, quite possibly because deep down it is me who needs to be fixed. However, I seem to come into peoples lives who are 'broken' and when they are repaired they leave. I guess Im still waiting for my repairman (and I use the term man loosely, and I dont mean loosely like Im waiting for my repair butch, I am just using the term, dont read into it too deeply). Reevaluate the value add of those people.
There is an on going conversation with a friend about settling vs not settling vs waiting for what you want, and I believe that there is "the one" and she tells me not to lose that hope, but its really starting to dwindle, because the people that have recently shown interest in me arent/cant/wont be my forever, for numerous reasons. Apparently I am most appealing to those people who are already in a relationship and are unhappy for some reason or another. But to those who are single, there is nothing appealing about me... Oh I know poor me... pity the angry bee, but that isnt my point, or at least its not what Im getting at. Its more that during my closet cleaning, I need to reevaluate the people in my life, and myself and why is it that what I attract are unhappy and unavailable people? And what is it about the angry bee that is so appealing for those who are hurt or broken, but not those who are looking to settle down and find their forever?
I find that I enjoy feeling needed, I like being there for people, I like taking care of people emotionally, financially, physically... but at the same time, there does come a time when I need the same in return, but I havent found someone to match those needs... Hmpf.
The angry bee needs to make some changes. Because as the brilliant philosopher RuPaul says "If you dont love yourself how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"
Monday, May 17, 2010
I think my watch is broken...
My timing has been so off lately.
Between work, girls, traffic, you name it time and I are not friends right now.
I just cant get things right with work. Not sure if its really a timing issue as much as Im just not happy, but when Im making good money I dont love the work, when I like the work Im not making good money, its just out of synch... Not sure if thats timing or not, but seriously somethings gotta give!
Girls, it seems like I meet them, they "arent ready" then next thing I know they have a girlfriend. If it happens once, hey sh!t happens, it happens twice, weird, 3 times, clearly Im the issue... Or, the girls who keep saying they wish they met me sooner or at a different time, well you didnt, so oh well... Im not going to sit around waiting for
someone because Im just an option for them.
Traffic, seriously this morning, if I pulled out of my driveway 2 seconds faster, I would have been ahead of a huge line of traffic, that caused me to sit through 2 different red lights twice. I mean really?
And random, but friends, it seems like if I have a significant other my friends are single, and when Im single my friends arent. See BAD timing!
I just dont know what to do to get my life back on the right track.
Maybe I need a new watch.
Between work, girls, traffic, you name it time and I are not friends right now.
I just cant get things right with work. Not sure if its really a timing issue as much as Im just not happy, but when Im making good money I dont love the work, when I like the work Im not making good money, its just out of synch... Not sure if thats timing or not, but seriously somethings gotta give!
Girls, it seems like I meet them, they "arent ready" then next thing I know they have a girlfriend. If it happens once, hey sh!t happens, it happens twice, weird, 3 times, clearly Im the issue... Or, the girls who keep saying they wish they met me sooner or at a different time, well you didnt, so oh well... Im not going to sit around waiting for
someone because Im just an option for them.Traffic, seriously this morning, if I pulled out of my driveway 2 seconds faster, I would have been ahead of a huge line of traffic, that caused me to sit through 2 different red lights twice. I mean really?
And random, but friends, it seems like if I have a significant other my friends are single, and when Im single my friends arent. See BAD timing!
I just dont know what to do to get my life back on the right track.
Maybe I need a new watch.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Rant on Ranter
Lets make a list of things that really urk me.
1. FAKE PEOPLE
2. USERS (is that a word?)
3. When someone squeezes the toothpaste from the middle.
4. When a lesbian storyline looks like it has some potential and then BAM, nsm. (not so much for the acronymly challenged)
5. When you think you know what is going on and then realize you were WAY off base (not in a good way like stealing a base or getting further than you thought)
6. When people feed you lines of bullsh!t.
7. When people are so self absorbed at no time, even when called out on it, realize how damn selfish they are.
Thats all I have right now.
Peace out girl scout(ers)
angry bee
1. FAKE PEOPLE
2. USERS (is that a word?)
3. When someone squeezes the toothpaste from the middle.
4. When a lesbian storyline looks like it has some potential and then BAM, nsm. (not so much for the acronymly challenged)
5. When you think you know what is going on and then realize you were WAY off base (not in a good way like stealing a base or getting further than you thought)
6. When people feed you lines of bullsh!t.
7. When people are so self absorbed at no time, even when called out on it, realize how damn selfish they are.
Thats all I have right now.
Peace out girl scout(ers)
angry bee
Monday, April 19, 2010
Bringing on the rants...
So over the past, hmmm, 75 years or so, marriage has taken a drastic turn. There was a time when marriage was a sacred vow of uniting two people forever, or at least until one of the people "expired". People preach it was a different time, when marriage meant something and divorce wasnt an option, and people worked out their problems. Great. Living 'til you were 70 back then was barely an option either... Forever is a long time these days.
BUT at the same time, I do think marriage is something serious, I dont think people who have the right to get married take it seriously enough. People get married and divorced now, like fashions change, its almost fashionable to get divorced. But there are still people who arent even given the chance to get married, to share that sacred vow and be recognized as a married couple. So straight people can ruin the sanctity of marriage, via adultery, divorce, etc. yet gay people arent given the chance because somehow they will be the down fall of marriage? Um, what could we possibly do to make marriage any worse? I mean really?
BUT at the same time, I do think marriage is something serious, I dont think people who have the right to get married take it seriously enough. People get married and divorced now, like fashions change, its almost fashionable to get divorced. But there are still people who arent even given the chance to get married, to share that sacred vow and be recognized as a married couple. So straight people can ruin the sanctity of marriage, via adultery, divorce, etc. yet gay people arent given the chance because somehow they will be the down fall of marriage? Um, what could we possibly do to make marriage any worse? I mean really?
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